Eternal Blog Of A Spotless Mind

All those Facade goes in vain

Toggle b/w low and high–my life

Right now Iam out of sense,not because iam drunk or i am on weed but because of the realisation of my pathetic fuckin character sometimes….

Sometimes i so damn hate or get angry on myself because of my atitude which sometimes suxxx big time…When i get disappointed or sad or angry on my behaviour or my way of thinking or my atitude,what i do is  i keep my mouth shut and will not speak much which makes people sadder than me…

May be i am like this because of my possessiveness,my greed,my selfishness or even my ego for certain beings….

Sometimes i feel so ashamed to think or act like this or i feel so silly or even i feel so small…My heart says to me “u r not supposed to be like this,reform you pathetic low life form” and every time i will decide to be a nice guy but the very next time i fail…

But actually i know i am not that bad,from my heart i am nice, i have few friends who really care for me and i have people who love me care for me..i never back stab my friends nor i am a pervert…I know i can be an average friend,i can help you to solve your problems..but watever i am when i  start feelin shit ,i feel that above all my few good qualities these damn part of me prevail…

You may be thinking that why am i sayin all these now because yesterday was a day when i was like that…

Only one thing i can say to the people i hurt because of my atitude…”I am sorry i never meant to hurt u”…

p.s: If my language is perplexing please do bear..i told you before “i am out of sense”….

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May 11, 2007 - Posted by | Being Me, My World, Rohan

7 Comments »

  1. we realise many things wen we become small…
    we start understanding…how beautiful life can be………

    theres a difficulty in the dawn…but by dusk it will all come over….
    if theres a small candle light that can flame in your shadows…..thats more than enough…….that smallness in you is your biggest power

    think positive………
    with great power comes great responsibilites

    rock rohan

    Comment by gitu | May 11, 2007 | Reply

  2. @ gitu….i can only say thanks to u…i know that u understand the value of people whom we care the most,and we love the most…thanks for ur inspiration gitu…

    Comment by rohanmanoharlovetobe | May 11, 2007 | Reply

  3. nice

    Comment by gitu | May 11, 2007 | Reply

  4. @rohan: dont be so depressive mate.

    life is what passes you by when you make plans. there is no conscious decision made for self-improvement, that can actually be fulfilled. but the mere thought that there is room for self-improvement is a great achievement in itself.

    Comment by Joe Kulangara | May 11, 2007 | Reply

  5. @joe..thanks bro…i will keep that in my mind…..and will be a good human ok may be i am one

    Comment by rohanmanoharlovetobe | May 11, 2007 | Reply

  6. dont worry my dear angale……..
    we all know u r a true frnd…………..
    with a nice heart …so dont feel low..we all r with u…
    i too have sme problem like this only…wot to do am ur PENGAL na thats why..so we will try to get out of this……….

    Comment by sandra | June 3, 2007 | Reply

  7. @sandy…..thanks dear…having a great sister like you who do care for me itself is a relief……thank you for understanding what i feel….i’ll be with you…..

    Comment by rohanmanoharlovetobe | June 3, 2007 | Reply


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