Eternal Blog Of A Spotless Mind

All those Facade goes in vain

A lonely hungry sleepless night with hell a lot of smoke

August 20

Tonight my fucking internet is screwed.The server is mother fucking screwed,cant access the shit.You may think that “what this asshole can’t live a night without this goddamn internet”..yeah may be i can but tonight i fucking want it.

Right now i am all alone at home.My mom’s sister is sick,so it has been quite a few days since all my family left for my mother’s house.I only came here today evening coz i was tired and i wanted peace i wanted comfort.I have planned a trip tommorow.When i came here in the evening the goddamn net was alrite and what i came to know in first hand was sometimes my tommorow’s trip may be a mere fucking waste.Then in the night the internet got screwed and i came to know from jinu that for what i came here today will not happen.Since from last few days my house was deserted there is no food here.I was happy to skip my dinner tonight if what i wished should have happened.And now i know that tonight nothing is gonna work out.
I am disturbed,frustrated,sad what all negative feelings you can think of,right now all that is fucked into my freaky head.Jinu called me and tried to comfront me,i cursed him and hanged up the goddamn phone.Then i felt “its not his fault its all mine” i sent him a message saying that i am sorry.He called me again and we talked a bit.Then i tired to make my heart feel light by watching “American Pie-The Wedding”,Sean William Scott was able to make me smile occasionally thorugh the movie.The movie got over.And then i was feeling void or i was feeling hell a lot of things.
Sometimes i have felt that this house of mine is not large enough but its small.But tonight right now i feel like being in a “Castle of Lord Draculla”.I feel like the rear door downstairs is about a 5miles far.I lit up a smoke,never ever the smoke has helped me this much as it is doing now.Then i played a playlist in my computer,i felt irritated with all those pop and rap stuff then came a death metal gig and i was like “fucking hilarious”.Then what i did was adding some more death metal or black metal kind of stuff to the play list and i enjoyed the mood.I just banged my head for some 45minutes continuosly with that music and right now my bloody neck is breaking and paining like hell.Sometimes you may ask me “what the hell you know about black and death metal”..may be i know shit and since i dont owe you people a fucking thing,i don’t give a rat’s ass for what you think about it.And 1 more thing,in my orkut profile i have said that death and black metal music is suicidal and right now i am listening to it,so am i suicidal now “ha ha god knows”

Now i realise that this will be a sleepless night…i will hear music more i will light up more and i will surely watch 1 or 2 movies more…And u people think that i am insane..go ahead think what u want and i dont expect you people to under-fucking-stand any thing.Since this is my blog i can write whatever i want….can’t i..

And i dont mean no harm to anyone,its just that the mood is not right……

{Since the net is screwed i am typing this in notepad,wen the net will resurrect i will post this}


p.s:-You dont worry reading this…..i will wait all along…..don’t worry its just one more off mood rohan..take care dear..

August 21, 2007 Posted by | Being Me, Internet, Music, My World, Night, Rohan, Smoke | 7 Comments