Jab detha hain tho Chappar phaad ke detha hain

Feels good after long time here in a mood to write some shit…Those who have read my blogs before might have read stuff which i have wrote  about me flunking for some of my 3rd and 4th sem exams of Btech…I had also written about how tough it was for me to clear those papers and how i was not able to appear for any of the recruitment drives.

shit there’s something wrong with my language..its not neat now..wat happened…

So the thing is i was a guy with no idea wat to do after my Btech like a 2 months before.Since i was having no job offer or anything,i was planning to do MBA…i always wanted to do it….But having no job made me confirm my decison about the MBA.So i went and wrote MAT.I had zero preparation for MAT…never read or tried to study anything for the exam…but when the result came it was like 84.15 percentile..damn…then i applied for MBA in some colleges..Amrita School of Business…I attended their interview and 2 days later got the information from them that i am selected…i was also planning to attend some more interviews in a few B schools also.

A company called Spectrum technologies came and conducted a drive in my college and  i was able to attend it..2 days after the aptitude test they called me to their office and had an interview.They said that the results will be informed later.Then last month i had a test and interview with HCL..and god tussi great ho…I got job offers from both HCL and Spectrum.So before 2 months i didnt know what to do after Btech and now i have two job offers and an MBA selection from a very reputed college in the country.But in the same way i have lost something also.A very precious some one…dont wanna talk about it….

p.s:-God,jabb detha hain tho chappar phaad ke detha hain

MBA—To do or not to do….A conversation with “The Mute Oracle”

This guy The Mute Oracle,i know him personally.We were in good company 2 years back.After that he went to US and our contacts has been limited to conversations in google talk.We chat once in a while or something,say like once in a month or once in 2 months.But whenever we talk he makes me understand things or helps to widen my view or even leave me confused.

He’s the one who is responsible for if i am watching any good cinemas,he’s the one who gave me all those classic and brilliant movies.

The reason why i am writing this post is,today i had a chat with him.I am finishing my engineering in 3months and i am not yet placed in a company and i was planning to do MBA in HR right after my Btech.

The conversation was like this:

rohan: hi
wassup
edo
mute oracle..

Mute Oracle: hahaha
nothing much bro
how are things with you?

rohan: good man…had one lab exam today

MO: aah
how was it?

rohan: went fine
how are things with u
i read ur blog

MO: oh

rohan: 2008 was good for u rite

MO: and?
yeah. it was\
how about youy?

rohan: i liked that simla post
a bit of both
cleared all my backlogs
but still no job
u know

MO: hmmm
but isnt the bike thing paying you?

rohan: it fucking costs a lot here to do an MBA man

MO: i thought you had shows n stuff

rohan: no dude…shows doesn’t pay much

MO: why the fuck do you want to do an MBA now? are you crazy?

rohan: and stunting is ruining my bike
man really really iam not a s/w guy
i know shit abt pgming

MO: dude, getting an MBA right after you degree is professional suicide
you dont have any experience and you will be overqualified for all the   jobs

rohan: and i feel that an MBA in HR will be sumthin which i am gonna enjoy
dude seriously i dont want to be a s/w prof

MO: and in this economic conditions, the managers are the first people to be fired.
look at all the job markets bro. companies have realised that they need people who ‘do things’, not people who ‘manage people who do things’

rohan: hmm…
how long will this prevail…and btw
i dont think that there will be jobs in s/w either now
i will have to join sumthing like sutherland or sumthing

MO: one of the interesting things that Krugman said is this – when everyone works for a couple of years and then become managers…it is inevitable that theere will be more managers than peoople to manage.

rohan: hmm…yea

MO: and what happens then is that there is a need to keep them happy. companies becoe greedy… more managers lead to a ruined economy.
even in my company, there is a thrust towards removing in-betweeners.
my boss’s boss has been fired.

rohan: damn

MO: i interact more iwth the client than before.
why should there be a person above me, who’s only job is to talk to the client and tell me what they want. when it is cheaper and infintely more efficitne when i can do the talking to the client myself.
the reponse is faster. the cost is less. the whiole thing is more efficient
MBA is bullshit
you dont learn anything in MBA man. its a degree thats only there to prove to people that you have na masters.

rohan: hmm….shit man…

MO: and that defeats the puropose of education
ask yourself…do you want to learn something usefull, or do you want to learn nothing but show everyone that you lerned something

rohan: so which course will u prefer if i wanna do higher studies

MO: nothing. first, get a job.
and then youw iwll realise what you are good at

rohan: yeah wohi tho

MO: even if you think you dont like software, you can never know it for sure unless you try it
and besides
a computer guy doesnt have to be a programmer
there are networing dudes,
database dudes,
business analysts
lots of jobs

rohan: yeah that’s my only bloody hope…even if in college i know the logic to crack sumthing..i donno how to code it

MO: coding is easy
couple of weeks of training and you will be coding without any problem

rohan: business analysts!! actually wat do they do
wat’s their job

MO: i was actually offered the job of a business analyst at Spectrum in India.
hhehehe

rohan: spectrum
at ekm
rite
10k a month

MO: The Business Analyst is the one who goes to the client and plans the whole business process involved in a project
so, essentially you gather requirements, analyse if your company can fulfill the cleints requirements. negotiate with the client and with your company to make changes.
and finally settle on an agreement.

rohan: ok..

MO: and then you come up with a plan to execute the requirements.
who does what etc.
essentially you are the guy who gets the company the projects

rohan: hmm..that’s also kind of a middle man rite
like a manager

MO: no. a business analyst is the guy who writes the proposals that get projects

rohan: hmm

MO: a company with a few really good business analysts will do big
programmers and managers can be replaced bro
but if you are a business aanalyst and you get fired, the company is losing a lot
you move to the next company, and you can easily get that company access to your old clients

rohan: yeahh
hmm…need to think
u know

MO: yeah.
well…and business analysts should know the basics of everything

MO: programming, design, management,

rohan: hmm
hmm…
there dude

MO: hmm?

rohan: u saw wat i said rite
dude…the net connection was terminated

MO: no

rohan: huh

A sigh Of Relief…

X: “Hey what are you doing…”

me: “ughh, me doing my 7th semester of Btech”

X: “ohh 7th semester ,final year rite?got placed?”

me: “uggmm no…i ain’t placed yet”

X: “why?what happened”

me: “got 2 backlogs..so was not able to appear for any placement drives”

X: “so they don’t allow people with backlogs to appear for placement drives?”

me to myself: “didn’t that i just tell you sick fuck”

me: “no they don’t”

I am so bloody tired of being in such a conversation so many times,coz of certain reasons i had these 2 backlogs.I was trying to nail them from quite a long time now.

For me the toughest subjects in the MG University Btech Information Technology syllabus is Electrical Circuits and Systems(ECS) of 3rd semester and Signals and Systems(SAS) of 4th sem.I failed for these two subjects when i wrote the regular exams.I studied wuite well and wrote the ECS supplementary exam during my 4th sem,didn’t clear it and failed for SAS too.Here starts the dark ages,parents,teachers,relatives all are after my ass cursing.Then came my 5th semester regular exams i didn’t even try writing the ECS exam coz it was on the same day of my Operating System regular exam.But i did write the SAS exam and failed again too.Thus i entered my 6th semester,and by this time most of my friends was sitting comfortably with all the subjects passed and waiting for the companies to come.The recrutiment drive started with Infosys.It was kind of simple aptitude test and if cleared that then one HR interview and that’s all.I was there at the college with my friends who was appearing for the drive.Some of my good friends got placed.Then lot of companies came and i couldn’t appear for none.

Then came my 6th semester exams and in this semester also there was a ‘big bad daddy’ known as Digital Signal Processing(DSP).I was so fucking disappointed to see the exam time table

i forgot the exact dates of exam…it was something like

11-06-2008    time(1:30-2:30pm)       Signals And Systems

12-06-2008    time(9:30am-12:30)     Digital Signal Processing

(1:30-2:30pm)      Electrical Circuits And Systems

wow..two exams a day that too DSP and ECS…and SAS in the afternoon of the previous day…somehow wrote all of ’em…And 2 weeks back my results came and i passed for all..Thank God…so now happy with no backlogs…

p.s:-i don’t know how many of you will understand…to understand this you should be in this bloody conditon of having backlogs..trust me it haunts you until you clear it

Good one…

Nice one…..

.

Untitled

“A ship in the port is safe,but its not what the ship is built for”

I saw this quote on the board of my classroom two days back.Couldn’t help but to think about it.I don’t know who wrote it,whose words are these but it did strike.

The University Exam Which Chopped Me Down

Today my 4th semester university exam results are out.Out of the 8 subjects I am screwed for 2.As a part of the tradition most of the “big daddies” in the software field will be coming for campus recruitment in my next semester and by that time i am supposed to be a “no-fucking-back-fucking- paper” person and right now the placement seems like a distant shore and i am standing in a wrecked ship.

The way i screwed my exams

Last semester i was hit with ‘Jaundice’.The normal count of bilirubin of a healthy person is supposed to be less than 1 and i was hit so hard that my bilirubin count went upto 14.4.And during my internal exams i was having a bilirubin count of 7 and obviously i screwed all the internals.As a result i was under-sessional for 4 subjects.And out of the 4 subjects i failed for one.The next subject which i failed is called “Signals And Systems(SAS)” fearfully called as “Supply After Supply”.Out of 25 boys in my class 21 got fucked for this fucking subject(Great na out of 25..21 got kicked on their b***s).Cheers to those who got through.

And i had a back paper in the 3rd semester and it was “Electrical Circuits And Systems(ECS)” fearfully called by me as “Extremely Catastrophic Subject”.There were students from my class to write the supplementary exam there were my seniors,my super seniors, a lot of people to write that supplementary and the result came as “Nobody from this so-and-so college passed”…ya not even a single person passed…what the fuck on earth will cause such a mass fucking failure….i think that the university might not have even seen the papers…Ya that kind of things happen in my University……

So here i am an “Inglorious Bastard” standing with a total of 3 back papers with a fear that i won’t be allowed to appear for the campus placements…But remember I am still fucking standing…I am still fucking standing….I am no way fucking broken…

P.S1:-yeah its true that there are lot of people in my class whose results are worse than mine…but with all that bull shitting facade people has put up for me…i am supposed to be placed in a big company…am i not…What say you?…..

P.S2:-All the abbreviations given in the topic are made by me…i am damn good in that

The “F” Word

My advice for all of you out there before reading this post—–This post will be having explicit content and especially the “f” word a lot…so if you dont want to read,quit now………..Now if you want to read you can but dont blame me later.

Me Rohan the almost sole user of the beautiful word “fuck” among all my friends and may be even in my class.I am not a school student iam doing my pre-final year of Btech.

Why is there all these fuzz about this particular word.I have been criticized a lot for using this “fuck” here there and everywhere.

Once in my orkut profile there was pic saying “i dont give a fucking shit” and for days one senior was after me like sweared to god that he will make me change that pic.He was like using the word “fuck” is like a fucking crime.And finally he lost and he gave me the title of “Brand Ambassador of FUCK”.

Why are people like this…..the meaning of FUCK according to Cambridge International Dictionary of English is as follows

Fuck-1.slang to have sex.

2.act of having sex or a sexual partner

3.slang used when expressing extreme anger or annoyance to add force to what is being said.

That’s it we all use fuck just to express our anger or annoyance or frustration or sometimes even our exclamations.Nobody say the word “fuck” keeping only the other sexual part in mind.

If i say “fuck you” i dont mean i wanna have sex with you,it just mean that i am someway disturbed or annoyed by you.

Some phrases with “fuck” in it have really different meaning like:-

Fuck off – go away

Fuck all -nothing

Fuck about /around -mess around

Fuck up -to damage,to harm or doing something very badly

Fucker/Fuckhead -stupid,idiot

So if i say “fuck off” means “go away” it got no shit to do with sex.There are even people who stare at me when i use this word and i like to play the “i caught you staring at me son of a b****” game with them.

Once i was online in Google talk and one of my junior came to chat with me,let me quote that conversation here:-

Jr. -hi,rohan how are you?

Me-cool man,iam doing well

Jr. -I heard that u use the “f” word a lot,please dont use it its bad…bye…tc…c u

I was like “what the fuck just happened”……

In one of my previous posts i have written a paragraph using quite a lot of “fucks” in that,i wrote it as my friend Genuine saying..Actually Genuvi meant something like that but what i wrote was my creation…So the next day one of my senior who is a very good friend of mine said to me like “Bro rohan i thought the best sentence by a man is “FUCK THE FUCKING FUCKERS” but you outnumberd that by this one great paragraph of ur’s..kool man”…I felt so bloody fucking good,for the first fucking time someone is fucking appreciating me for using the word “fuck” aint it fucking awsome,yeah i felt fucking awsome.

So who am i among my pals and classmates, a lone “Inglorious Bastard”.There are even people who fucking judge a person’s fucking character by just fucking noticing their appearances.What the fuck should i say to them…….

“So if u fucking hate me for fucking use the fucking word fuck a lot of fucking times all the fuck i can fucking say is fucking that i will fucking deliver fucking you these fucking kind of fucking sentences which fucking got a fucking number of fucks in fucking it,and for fuck’s sake i dont fucking regret a fucking shit”

P.S:-I request you guys a song called “hotdog” by limp bizkit,the word fuck is used more than 50 times in that song….

“Coffee with Rohan”—-(huh.. Rohan is me)

Three days back i had a lab exam.So the day before exam or something one of my friend came and stayed with me at home in the night obviously for the so called combine study gig.So at night i told my mom to make some black coffee and keep it in a flask so that it should remain hot.Me and my friend were studying and he said

“da i gonna take a nap for 10min,wake me up after 10min and get me a cup of coffee”

i said “alrite dude,sleep peacefully”  and then i went to play some game in my sysytem..

After some 15min i went downstairs and filled 1cup of hot black coffee and came back upstairs……My friend was lying on the bed holding his lab record.

I called him once..twice..thrice…..no response from that idiot…no signs of coming into consciousness….so i decided to hit him a bit harder…

“daa kope wake up….splaaaaashhhhhhhh…”.—my hand slipped and the 100 degree hot coffee was all over his head…he woke up with a scream,i also got frightened not coz i poured hot coffee over his idiotic head but from the intensity of his scream……

ha….. ha….i discovered a new method to wake people from sleep…

WARNING-

Don’t try this at home,can be injurious to  your health if the person really wakes up from sleep.

p.s:-this time the one who suffered was not Genuine….

The Copland

Yes here is it my one and only encounter with cops till this moment…..

The time is february 2006.We planned to go for a one-day tour to Munnar from our class.And Me and Genuine was expected to arrange the mode of transport i.e obviously a tourist bus.And this duty fell upon us just a week before the proposed date of tour.We enquired for bus in the near by towns but none was available.So we were forced to book a bus from a town which some 25+ kms away from our college.Our trip to Munnar was planned for a saturday and the previous thursday was a holiday due to some gig.So me and Genuine planned to go and pay the advance for the bus.So we both met at Muvattupuzha and one of my other frined who was not from my college was also with me.So we were 3 guys and we had one bike.Let the name of my other friend be Ebin.

Me:”aliya ethu eppo nammal 3per elle,and we have only 1bike…kyaa kareein”

Genuvi:”yaa enthu cheyyum”

Ebin:”no probs dudes,nammalkku triples vakkaam”

me:”deey wat if police pokkiyaal”

Ebin:”no way man…avar eppo anagane onnum pokkilla and we just hav to go only 25 kms

Genuvi:”yeah let’s go”

Me:”oh ya then let’s go”

So like that we went,we reached there and we gave the money for the bus.We started our ride back.And then we saw a vehicle of “Highway police” going in the same way wer we have to go.

Me:”Ohh fuck…fuck now what u idiots..i told u..shit”

Genuvi:”We will go after them..let’s keep a distance and go very slowly(the cops were moving like what 30km/hr and this Ebin dude rarely keeps his bike below 90km/h)

Ebin:”Assholes do we have any other choice you idiots”

Me:”Fuck u man..u calling me an idiot..it was all ur bull-fucking-shitting idea”

Then for 15kms we wer like pursuing the cops very slowly.Ok one thing here Ebin was riding the bike,i was sitting just behind him then Genuvi after me.

Then suddenly we saw the vehicle of cops coming back,that is they were coming back to us.

Me:”Holy mother of god now what…..for fuck’s sake we are screwed”

Ebin:”Damn what we do”

(Here comes the brilliance of the idiotic Genuine)

Genuvi:”yo u slow the vehicle and i will jump”

Me:”say what!!!jump…jesus f christ.. r u sure”

Ebin:”dude r u sure”

Genuvi:”yeah dudes hit the brakes”

Ebin started slowing the bike and right then that idiot genuine jumped..His jump was so fucking perfect that he landed fucking flat on his bloody face…..idiot….the worst idea of a life time.

It happened right in the middle of a juction and there wer hell a lot of people.They thought Genuvi accidently fell off from the bike.

People started shouting…”da pillere de ningalude friend vandiyennu veenu”

I looked and gave the crowd a smile and we were acclerating.The cops came from opposite direction.The driver of their vehicle said “Bike side lekku othukkeda”

We parked our vehicle and went to the Police jeep.

Cop:”wer’s ur friend.we saw u 3 in the mirror”

Ebin:”he just jumped”

Cop:”idiots ninakkokke vattano…eni chaadiyavan vallo chathum poyaal athum njangalude thalayil erikkum”

Me:”sorry sir”

Cop:”sorry kope…adichu ninte okke shape matanam” he turned to the inspector who was sitting inside the vehicle and asked “sir 3ennathinem pokki station il kondupovam alle”

Hearing that i heard a sound…”What was that did Genuvi pissed on his jeans”

Cop:”what r u people doing”

Me:”Sir btech”
Cop:”kollam veetukaare chuttikaan aayittu raavile erangikolum”

Here i should describe our appearance.Me long hair,short tight shirt,and my jeans had some strings hanging.Ebin kind of long hair even though not as much of mine rest somewat like mine.Genuvi hair was short but rest almost same.

A crowd of men gathered around us.Everyone was giving their piece of talk,and we 3 were standing like 3clowns in circus in the middle of the crowd.

At the time of this event a movie called “Anniyan” was a trend.

One local dude came to us he looked at me closely,i looked at him…He looked at Genuvi and he looked at Ebin.And he said loudly to all…”hmmm 3ennom undu Anniyan,Ambi, Remo kolllaaam”

We 3 of us looked at each other pathetically.Then the cop started to laugh and all the people stared laughing.We really felt like clowns now.

The cops adviced us and let us go.We reached our home town and went to a bakery and sat down together thinking what just happened.

Genuvi:”Actually aa pulli aareya Ambi ennu viliche”

Ebin:”Ninne aayirikkum”

Genuine:”poda thendi enne remo nna viliche i am sure”

Ebin:”Enna pinne ee rohane aayirikkum”

I didnt say a word…I didnt say a fucking word what i was thinking was

“karthaave nee oru kurishalle chumannulloo njan ethaa evide 2ennam chumakkunnu”

“Please can u come with us”–or how we screwed our exam and money

February 15th 2007.One of my friend named sherine had his Basic Electrical Engg. supplementary exam on that day.So genuvi (Genuine i call him genuvi) and me went to the college to see Sherry(sherine).Exam got over in the evening and we three were talking and having fun.Then the phone rang,i picked up the phone..it was our class tutor..

Tutor: “genuine….”

me: “no miss its me rohan..y u called miss”

T:”rohan if in this sem we have to go for tour we should do it before the college re-opens”

Me:”Miss the college re-opens on 26th..its only 9 days..

in such a short time how can we manage everything”

T:”i know its difficult but the principal will not allow otherwise”

Me:”Miss right now wer r u”

T:”i am in the college bus”

(College bus was parked rt in front of me)

We 3 went to the bus and talked to her…She told us that if we had to go for the trip we had to do it b4 26th of that month.That was the new rule of the principal.And we had to conduct it as an Industrial Visit,i.e 3 days tour and in that 3 days one day we were supposed to visit one industry.

Exams wer all over….each and every soul went home…Hostel was vacant…It was damn tough to contact the students….

We went home..we called a lot of students through phone we were online the whole night asking people to come for tour….By the next morning we arranged enough students to conduct the tour.

We 3 were happy coz within one night we contacted almost all the students and most of ’em were ready to come….Next day we went to college happily and we met our tutor…

Me:”Miss we can do it..the students are ready..now which all faculties will be coming,

u r coming naa”

T:”Rohan i would really like to come but i have some functions which by no way i can

miss….u ask other teachers”

Me:”Ok miss we will ask the rest”

(There were some 8-10 staff in our dept. we were sure that we will find one)

We went one another teacher

“Miss will you come with us for the tour”

Miss:”first u find a male staff…coz we female staffs alone cant control all of u”

So we went to the one and only male staff of our dept…..”sir the tour”

Sir:”i cant come i have my first class of campus connect then….i cant miss that”

And he agreed us to arrange the Industry to visit.

We thought “shit now what”

So for the rest of some days we went to each and every male staff of the college asking “sir please can u come please can u come”….

Everyone had one or the other excuse

The funniest part was our meetings with our principal.

We went into his room to ask for the permission..We mean Sherry,Genuvi and Me

Principal:”yes Industry visit is good…its better to see an Elephant alive than watching its picture…so u guys carry on but come back befor 26th morning”

And we agreed to him completely

After half an hour we 3 again went to see the principal to ask for a male staff from the mechanical engg. dept.

Principal:”yes seeing an elephant alive is better than seeing its picture”

I looked at Genuvi…Genuvi looked at me..We both looked at sherry..Sherry was

shaking his head like he was agreeing with the principal

I whispered to genuvi “abbe yaar wat happened to him he said the same thing half an hour back and what the hell happened to sherry why is he shaking his head”

Principal asked us to obtain a female staff from our dept. then he can allow a male staff from mech. dept.

We came out of his room and right then genuvi asked me “alla principal paranjathil entho sathyam elle…ee anaye nerittu kaanuthalle”

I said “shut up both of u..let’s continue our begging”

We went to all the teachers and no one was ready to come…

And in between the sir who agreed to arrange Industry came and said “i cant arrange industry..they are asking for notice blah blaah blaah”

So now we knew we are screwed no industry and no female staff

We said “sir we paid 5000 bucks advance for the bus,if we dont go we will lose the money and we gave it from our pockets”

Sir:”tell them that we will book their bus next sem and get the money back

Who on earth will be mad enuf to listen to such a thing.

We 3 had an Electronincs improvement exam next day(20th feb).

That evening Genuvi came to my home and we didnt take the book instead we were calling all the teachers and pleading them to come.We must have called our tutor atleast 10 times that nite….She was the only one who understood us.

Next day exam was at 1:30 and till 12:30 we were doing the same pleading stuff and we completely screwed our exam.Next day morning sherry called me “aliya tour cancelled..”

me:”wat…shhe wer r u”

Sherine:”iam at college..nee vegam engu vaaa”

I went to college and the news was true the gig was cancelled.

We all 3 felt damn bad..for this to happen we screwed our exam…we must have called atleast a 150 calls from our phones for this and now its all over.

We just sat on the steps in front of our dept. and thought what to do.Our tutor came to us I asked her “so miss its all over na,so now can we go home and sleep peacefully”

She said “u guys wait i will take u for the trip”

We:”wat will u…how…who will come with us”

She:”i will come”

We:”miss wat abt the func.”

She:”i will skip it”

That’s what we call what a teacher should be…For her students she skipped something important..

We went for tour with our tutor, her husband also came with us and there was a male teacher from meachnical dept. with his wife.

The trip was a great success….And our tutor is the best teacher for us….We all had enormous fun…..